In my last post, (which was waay too long ago), I gave you a bit of an overview of what to expect in the coming posts. I’ll be covering 10 main topics –
1. First things first – why do the kids want a horse? From My Little Pony to the United States Pony Club covers a pretty wide spectrum. I’ll give you some pointers on deciding where your child’s desires fit.
2. Can your kids handle a horse, (and can you)? Concerns to be addressed if the horse is to be kept at home or a boarding barn.
3. If you get it, you will pay – there’s no such thing as a free horse. The necessities and the optional extras.
4. Support – Get your essential team assembled – vet, blacksmith, knowledgeable owners, trainer, 4-H, Pony Club, Local horse organizations, Extension Service, feed store, hay supplier, horse council, instructor… the list goes on. It really does take a village to care for a horse.
5. Keeping your horse at home – Sure it’s the kids’ horse, but who’s actually going to feed and muck? Zoning, Insurance concerns, addressing the needs of the horse, addressing the needs of your family, addressing the needs of your neighborhood. Manure management, fly/ pest management.
6. Boarding facilities: full board, DIY board, share board, field board – what to look for in a boarding facility
7. Now that you’ve got it, what do you do with it? (Hint – answer these questions first)!
8. Alternatives to horse ownership – lessons, lease, share, volunteer, summer camp horses for the winter, college horses for the summer
9. Where to find your horse: Classified ads, word of mouth, bulletin boards, tack shops, vets and farriers, trainers,purchase from dealer, purchase from private individual, adoption, free horses
10. Begin with the end in mind: How long will your family own this horse – until the child becomes tired of it? Until the child goes to college or gets married? Forever? What do you do with a horse you no longer want? Dealing with the end of a horse’s life.
So today we start with: Why do syour kid want a horse?
This is a critical question – but one many parents fail to analyze thoroughly. Chances are your son or daughter doesn’t keep asking for a horse simply to annoy you (although some days, it likely seems that way) – they have a real and pressing desire to have a horse. Horses are beautiful, magical creatures that speak to something in a girl’s soul (there are more girls than boys afflicted with the horse bug, but boys are certainly not immune!).
As a parent, it’s your job to figure out the answer to this first question before you proceed further with the whole horsey process. Gauging the level of desire will help you chart an appropriate course. I’ll help you out with a few guidelines below.
Level 1 – Usually a very young child – Adores horses, often in the form of My Little Ponies and similar fantasy toys – hours can be spent combing the pink and purple manes and tails. This child will likely be thrilled with an occasional pony ride at a fair or birthday party. Child will demonstrate need to be categorized as a level 2 if she begins to ask for riding lessons instead of pony rides, wants to help care for the pony after the ride or wants to own a horse hours, days, weeks and months after a pony ride. For the moment, you’re reasonably safe.
Level 2 – Usually older – shows interest in learning about horses, devours horse books and magazines, has graduated from My Little Ponies to Breyer Model Horses. If she has a friend who has a horse, she will want to visit there frequently, although the favorite activity may still be combing the mane and tail, at least it is no longer purple or pink. Serious horse involvement can safely be postponed for a while, but it’s becoming more likely at some point in the future.
Level 3 – Asks for extra chores to make more pocket money which she is either saving for a horse or for riding lessons. Bedroom wall is adorned with posters of the rock stars of her world – show jumpers, reiners, event and dressage riders – Olympic Equestrians and their mounts are her heroes. An even more avid visitor to any horse-owning friend’s house now, she’ll want to ride, groom, muck, and clean tack; and will hide any clothing smelling remotely of horses in the back of her closet so she can revisit the magic at will. She’s gaining knowledge to back up the passion. You’re now officially on horse-alert watch.
Level 4 – Her wish lists now consist solely of a horse and/or money for lessons. The fashions featured in her favorite magazines are rated on their stylishness in the saddle, and the rock starts of her world often have 4 hooves. She has long since exhausted the horsey-how-to books in the local library, has a shelf full of her own (memorized) and can uncannily imitate Clinton Anderson’s Australian accent from watching RFD TV. Dinner table discussions may range from the breeding and trainer’s statistics for the Kentucky Derby favorite to the World Cup rankings to how bad the bot flies are this season. Want to learn about navicular? Probably not, but you may just hear about the latest research. Take advantage of this stage to encourage reading and science skills. You’ve moved from horse alert watch to a warning.
Level 5 – This is the final stage of the progression. Your daughter or son has been taking lessons for a while. Their trainer has said that they’re progressing very well. Parent teacher conferences usually involve discussions about the love and knowledge of horses displayed by your offspring. Your child is now likely to be well armed with rebuttals to the usual parental arguments. No room? She’ll have photos (and possibly hand drawn designs) of garage-to-barn conversions, and it would save Dad from having to mow the lawn on the weekend. Too expensive? She’s found a barn where she can work off part of the board, or she’ll get a job on the weekends to pay for feed. Not enough time? She’ll give up soccer/get up an hour earlier/forgo hanging out with friends after school.
By the time your family reaches this stage, it’s best to be well prepared. Let your child know of your concerns, but keep this an open discussion, rather than a rigid denial of requests. There are plenty of options to actually going out and buying a horse. Many of them fit the needs of today’s families better than traditional ownership, and can still fulfill the desire for “owning” a horse that your son or daughter has. The time you spend truly researching this subject and gaining knowledge can be great “quality time” with your child. Take it as a gift.
Next post, we’ll do a basic assessment of the readiness of your child (and your family) for horse ownership.
Until next time.